The short version - My family consists of my husband, Greg, myself (Nicki), my stepson Daniel 15, my daughter Genna 5, and baby girl Kadie 2.5. We live in Charlotte NC in a nice house in a okay neighborhood. Greg is an electrician. I'm a Stay at home mom.
The much longer version - Greg and I were married in 2003 in Rhode Island. We had lots of problems with my in laws and especially his ex-wife. Most of the issues centered around Greg's children. His daughter Michaela lived with us and his adopted son Daniel lived with his ex-wife. Long story short, we had police and court involvement and way more drama than was necessary. We decided to approve of Michaela living with her mother in order to make her life easier. Life got harder for us and we needed to get away from it all for the sake of our marriage and to let the kids live a life with less drama.
We moved to Charlotte in January of 2005. Greg got a transfer within the company he worked for many years. Unfortunately Electricians were paid significantly lower here than in New England. His pay was cut when we moved and then we found out that the cost of living was not very much lower here. Needless to say making ends meet was harder and harder. Eventually in 2008 we made the decision that Greg could make much more money if he started his own Electrical Contracting business. Today we are just making it by and we are still digging out of the hole that was created when we tried to live the lifestyle we were accustomed to on a much smaller salary.
My background- I had a very bad childhood. I was abused by my parents and placed in foster care from about age 11 thru 17. I was thrust into the world at 17 with nothing but my part time grocery store job and my beat up $200 Reliant car. I made it thru a lot of hardships in my early 20s and grew into a very self sufficient person. Ive tried thru the years to make amends with my family but it is clear that they are very different people than I am and we cant see eye to eye. Today I am not in contact with anyone accept my nieces and nephews once in a while. I found out when I was 22 years old that I had Tubal Disease (Fallopian tubes) and that they needed to be removed and I would not be able to have children conventionally.
Greg and I tried 3 rounds of invitro right after we got married. Despite good initial results with the number of eggs I produced on the meds it never resulted in pregnancy. Invitro was very hard on my body and moods and really not good for our marriage. We decided not to do it again.
Daniel was adopted from Foster care as an infant by Greg and his ex wife. Daniel was born a Jr to Greg's adopted brother. Daniel Sr and his girlfriend are both intellectually disabled. They are high functioning but neither would be capable of parenting any child. My Daniel was born failure to thrive. He was diagnosed intellectually disabled and developmentally delayed. He was fed by tube until at least 1.5 years old. Today he is in a special needs classroom and reads at a first grade level but he is high functioning socially and physically. Daniel was visiting us each summer when we first moved to Charlotte and the second summer he told us and his mother that he wants to live with us. It was quite a debate but in the end it was decided he could stay with us.
In 2007 Greg and I wanted to expand our family. We took foster parent licensing classes. We thought we would possibly adopt a teenager or a family of kids. We ran out and bought bunk beds for both of our secondary bedrooms. We picked out a child who was 12 and we were in the process of arranging a meeting with him when we found out Daniel would come to live full time with us. Between Daniels special needs and this boys needs we didn't feel it would be a good fit. We waited to see what we would get for a foster placement.
In November 2007 I got a call from my Social Worker. She asked if I would like to foster a mixed race baby who was just 3 weeks old. I was stunned. I wasn't expecting a baby. Babies were fun to hang out with but then they cry and poop and stuff. I didn't think I would do a good job. But of course it was a unique opportunity since I would never have a baby of my own. I said I would need to talk to my husband and call them back. I called Greg and he didn't seem worried. He asked if it was a boy or girl. Yikes in my confused excitement I didn't get that info. Either way was fine he said. Just a few hours later we picked up baby K from the hospital. She was beautiful. I soon found out that babies cry even more than I knew. She cried all night and day for about 2.5 months. I got almost zero sleep. I was a zombie. Of course having a foster baby also comes with other responsibilities, like SW visits (lots of them), bio family visits, doctor apts, and court dates. It was a lot of work. In the end at 15months old it was determined that Baby K's bio mom could not care for her. I believe that she is mildly mentally diminished. I'm not sure if it was biological or from prior drug use. We as her foster parents (from practically birth) were offered rights to adopt her. Of course we wanted her. She is family. In May 2010 at 2.5 years old Baby K became Genevieve Grace, our first child together.
We had several other foster placements thru the years. Each child was special and wonderful. Each child tested the limits of my patience. I hope and pray for the best outcome for each child who touched our lives. This world is tough and has little regard for each persons history and special needs or abilities.
In May 2010 just as Genna's adoption was being finalized we received a call about a new placement. A preemie baby girl just 5 weeks old. She had been in placement for 2 weeks already but due to some minor issues with the foster parents they decided to move her. Babies are hard and I wasn't sure I was ready to do that again any time soon but you guessed it I said yes. Baby L was a good baby. She didn't cry too much. She was a little delayed because she was preemie. She sat up at 7 months and walked at 15 months. She talked late too but at 2.5 now she is pretty much on target. We found out just before she turned 2 that she would be up for adoption and the judge agreed to let her stay with us since it would be a detriment for her to be removed from the only family she knows and trusts at such a young age. We have decided to name her Kadence Renae. Her adoption will hopefully be finalized by the early part of 2013.
